Jul 31, 2009

Thank you

Thank you all for your loving words. Yesterday was a rough day and we pretty much stayed at the hotel watching movies and napping. Late last night we met with the doctors to look at next steps. Together we came up with a good plan and we hope to try again soon. This is not the story we had hoped for but heck, none of this story is ideal. Dr Yash mentioned how God tests the strong and Mark commented that he forgot to study for this test! The irony and comedy of my Markie is amazing. For those of you who know us, you know we are not easily defeated. Time does help to heal the wounds and we just need to take each day and continue to love each other and the idea that one day, we will be parents.
Love to you all!!
Kerrie and Mark

Jul 30, 2009

Another knife in our hearts

Sadly we received the devastating news last night that the dreaded caps coming off our vials in shipment ended up being the worst thing ever. Not one of our twelve embryos were there. I imagine they were all on the floor of the tank, destroyed. The doctors were amazingly supportive and equally devastated. We have options still down the road, now though we need time to cope with this disaster as heartbreaking as it is.

Jul 29, 2009

Day 3

Another busy busy day. Today we ventured out with Ajit to see Mumbai/Bombay. We initially had planned to go south but due to a school closing protest in the south we ended up going north. The first stop was Sanjay Gandhi National Park. We drove deep into the forest to see these amazing caves. On route to the caves we saw many monkeys walking in the roads, sitting in trees and even sitting on motorcycle seats! We toured through the caves and they were very cool. Some of our pictures from in the caves have alot of white spheres in them which is typically a sign of spirits/ghosts. I told Ajit this and he thought I was nuts! (see pic below showing the white spheres) We left the park after a big exploration and headed to Andheri for shopping. We went to a store called Paaneri where the salespeople are pushing to make sales. You think going to the Brick is bad, try coming to the shops in Inida. Every sales person instatnly becomes your friend and then spreads out layers and layers of clothes, scarves, saris and tunic. They brag about the quality and the deal they are giving us. Its too funny! After this we went to the beach in Bandra for a coffee. This was really nice and we enjoyed sitting with Ajit outside under an umbrella. Ajit finds Mark quite entertaining as he continually takes pictures and video. After our coffee Mark and I went for a walk along the boardwalk. This was our first experience with the little boys begging for money. We did very well ignoring them. We made our way back to Ajits car and Ajit. This area is an exclusive area where some Bollywood stars live, and apparently Mark looks likes one major star and some women took a second look at him hoping it was their star! In this same area is Lilavati hospital where our embryo transfer will happen on Friday. Close by is the new bridge that takes you to south Mumbai. We should be able to get great pictures tomorrow when we go again with Ajit. Later we made our way to another Asian arts store where I could have spent my salary on the bedding. Again the push for sales was on, but the push came with price negotiating. Mid post we left to have dinner with Carrie Jo and Shawn and Isabella and the doctors. Carrie Jo and Shawn had to leave and we had the greatest pleasure to sit with the doctors for two hours, have drinks and food and chat one on one. To our greatest surprise our embryo transfer is tomorrow, after 4 pm. This is amazing news that came with initial anxiety over our embryos and excitement that this is really happening! Please keep us in your prays tomorrow that our embryos are ok and that they snuggle in for a long stay (9 months preferably)

The spirits and us...


Ajit and Mark man posing


Ajit and Kerrie in Bandra enjoying coffee

Jul 28, 2009

Short update

Today was another exciting day in Mumbai. I woke very late as I did not sleep most of the night, and Mark was up for hours before me. He has adjusted to the time change better than me for sure. We decided to order food into the room for breakfast and have a lazy morning. Shortly after ordering food we got a call from Dr S about out plans for the day which was a pleasant surprise. We arranged to have Ajit the driver pick us up, so we ate our huge breakfast of eggs, cereal, fruit bowl and toast and donuts and coffee...it was a huge amount of food. While we ate Ajit called to tell us he would be here shortly so we hurried up and got ready. Shortly after this we headed with Ajit to Hirandani Hospital. This hospital is located in an exclusive part of Mumbai in Powai Lake area. We went to the ultrasound area to find Dr Yash and Dr Sudhir there with two surrogates and a baby. They were babysitting for Chaya today. We had a chat with them and then Adam and Stephanie came out from the u/s room glowing from the sacn of their baby. They had taken a few screen shots of the 3d ultrasound and they seemed overjoyed. We all went to meet Dr Soni the obgyn who cares for the surrogates. Adam and Stephs surrogate was there and she looked amazing, She is such a tiny woman!! To much surprise after Dr S examined her, they found out she is dilated 2.5 cm and she was admitted to hospital. So we may get to see a new baby any day now! We were then asked if we would like to go to the SI cinic and meet Reshma!! We were surprised for sure, as we did not expect to meet our surrogate today. We took the long trip to the SI clinic..which is probably only long due to the traffic chaos! Once at the clinic we all had a drink together, and shortly after Reshma was brought to meet us in the office. It was overwhelming..what do you say to this woman who will hopefully carry your baby! We told her she is a blessing and asked how she is doing. The waterworks turned on twice for me as I got caught up, overwhelmed. We took a few pics with her and has a quick tour of the SI clinic, said goodbye to Reshma and made our way back to the Vits. For those of you wonderng about the Vits, the hotel is great. It is very clean and Internet is fast!!! The food in the hotel is great as well. When we got back to the hotel, Amit was waiting for us, He so kindly took our CDN money last night and had it all changed to INR. He met us in the lobby with a huge wad of cash, 23200 INR looks like a mafia amount of money. Its the savings we made on moving hotels as well so we cannot complain. We had a quick chat with Amit out side then came back to the room to cool off. We spoke with Carrie Jo and went to have a visit with her and Shawn and baby bella. While we were there they got a call from Dr S about some paperwork so they had to pack up and head out. Carri Jo and Shawn are at their wits end with the required or not required but suddenly needed paperwork for the exit visa for Isabella. They are taking it in stride but have had enough and hope that tomorrow all gets settled and they can leave very early Thursday morning.
We ventured out to eat at an outdoor cafe restaurant...testing the Delhi Belly waters for sure. The place is all vegetarian and we did enjoy it.
Its now 3:19 am here and I am wide awake. I should go back to bed and see if I can rest. Tomorrow we are headed to South Mumbai where the bombings took place last year. We will shop and eat there and probably spend the most of the day there. It takes about 1 hour to get there so back in the car we go!
Here is a pick from Mondays nights dinner

Jul 27, 2009

Hello Mumbai

We are here in Mumbai!!! The flights and transfers were good, no complaints at all. Jet Air was better than the first leg on Air Canada. The team on Jet were very welcoming and helpful and friendly. We were met at the airport by Amit, our travel advisor and new friend. He made sure we were taken to the hotel and gave us the Mumbai 101 lessons before we departed. We got to the Palms and it is beautiful, the pool especially. Unfortunately the walls were covered in Mildew and nothing was very clean. The doctors sent us flowers at the Palms and we felt very welcomed by them. We did take a dip at 1:30 am before the rain started. Today when we got up we had plans to head out with Amit and a couple from Denver to look at service apartments and we ended up at the Vits hotel to see the rental suites, and at this time we decided to make the move to the Vits. It is very clean and central and everyone else just happens to be staying here. It is in the middle of Mumbai chaos. Amit made up a great story to get us out of the Palms and we had to play along. Its an amazing place! We look out our room and see a shanty town, and as sad as this is, it is equally as common. After a great day out we came to Vits to check in and rest a bit. At 7pm the phone rang and it was Amit telling us it was time for dinner. We went downstairs and met three couples, two babies, two doctors and Amit. The food was great and the company was great aswell. Here are two snapshots of typical Mumbai







So now its 11:30 pm and we are going to try to rest. Tomorrow we will spend the afternoon with the doctors who will reach us on the cell phone they gave us this evening.
Will try to update the blog tomorrow.

Jul 24, 2009

Freakin OUT!!

After a year of struggles, challenges and planning we leave in 36 hours!!!! It's all very overwhelming. I would say that I am having a constant internal freak out and Mark the same but calmer. Things are going as they should. Dr's in India ~ as usual have been in contact with us keeping us somewhat sane. We are fortunate to have Dr S and Dr Y helping us as they are very compassionate and always available to answer our questions. With their schedules and demands we know it is difficult for them yet somehow they manage to answer our emails promptly. They are a blessing indeed. Today I sit back and realize the special people who are in our lives and helped us get to the point. We met and worked with an amazing doctor here ~ Dr M supported us fully and was such a pleasure to work with. If I ever (yikes) have to do another IVF cycle I know I am always in good hands with Dr M! Last night our neighbours brought us a red envelope..and in Chinese tradition this is for good luck! I immediately rubbed this envelope all over my body to enhance the good luck. It is so nice to have special neighbours like them who take a moment to care for us. Throughout this journey we have been amazed at the support and interest from friends and family and the good doctors. This is not like changing your hair colour, its way bigger than that! Always when I travel I get a little sad for my fur babies. The cats are ok when we travel, they sleep and eat most of the time and typically cope well without us, but Dr Peeky Gonazales Rodriguez chihuahua from hell does not cope as well. If you have never seen a Chihuahua cry, with actual tears running down his face, it is a site to break your heart. This dog is in love with me and leaving him breaks both of our hearts. When we land in Mumbai we will head straight to the hotel. On Monday we should hook up with the doctors and also some friends from the US who are there because Bella was born last week and they are waiting on their appointment with the consulate for babies passport. We will also meet a few other couples who are either there waiting for baby to be born or are in the same stage as us. Speaking of the hotel, check it out at www.palmshotelmumbai.com
Next post will be live from Mumbai!

Jul 20, 2009

Let the packing begin

We leave in 5 days and are whirling! For the last month I have barely slept with anticipation, similar to a kid at Christmas. Our surrogate is scheduled for a u/s this Thursday to see how she is progressing and if all goes well, our FET will be July 28/30. This is so real now. We are in a constant state of internal chaos. We have waited so long for this to happen and now it is smack dab in front of us. It is very surreal - almost unreal. The weekend was busy getting ready for the upcoming trip and events. We think we have everything we need and can only imagine how the couples going for baby pick up must feel. We are only prepping and packing for us and it feels a bit of a task. The thought of possibly being pregnant in 3 weeks or so is one I can think of, but somehow my body/mind is protecting me big time from truly absorbing this. The human body is truly amazing. When we go into high stress situations the body works in overdrive to protect us. I am having a hard time explaining myself here, but I sure you know what I mean. I guess I can best describe it as shock.
CJ and Shawns little girl was born last week and we are all waiting on updates (hint hint). Chaya and hubbie and son are chilling in Mumbai waiting on all the paperwork to come back home to Canada, and Daria should be resting now after egg retrieval earlier this morning in Mumbai.For those I have missed I apologize, but please know you are all in my thoughts. There is always lots going on in this crazy surrogacy world. Its a blessing for sure to be in the loop of this circle. I also see that the ducks had a baby shower over the weekend and the cake looked amazing!
So, this week will be full of heightened anticipation and wonderment. This journey as you know is not easy, and I do not expect it to get any easier as we get closer. Taking it is stride is all we can do.

Jul 16, 2009

Wordle me this, wordle me that

Inspired by Jojo and curious what would come of wordling my blog here it is..







colour wordle (so much fun!!!)

Jul 12, 2009

When stress reaches it's climax!

On Friday we received the news that our embryos were at Lilavati! Whew, great news right? Well the second set of news was that the caps on 3 of the 4 vials had fallen off during shipping and we did not know the status of the embryos. Can you imagine the shear devastation we felt? When I got this news I did almost physically vomit. This is the worse case scenario (other than the embies thawing on route). Fortunately the wonderful team we have aligned ourselves with have been very busy trying to help us throughout the weekend. We have heard from Canada and India that the best guesses are that there is minimal damage if any but we will not know until we thaw. So, our black cloud reigns supreme yet again. We are now just keeping the faith and staying as positive as possible until we know the true outcome. Have just heard from India that the embryologists feels the embryos are still in good shape and this indeed gives us hope. We blame no one for this as it is just one of those things that happens, and unfortunately to us.
These are the types of days that I wish I was a drinker! Fortunately Mark and I are rational and logical and take time to assess the situation.
Thanks to all the docs for taking care of us over the last 36 hours and working hard to get us answers. Now the rest of you must say a little prayer for us and our precious embryos.

Jul 9, 2009

Yackity yak

We leave in 16 days!! Finally it is here and we are so excited. Despite my legs acting up we are trying to organize ourselves for the visit to I N D I A! I am off to the Naturopath on Saturday for his thoughts and treatment on my leg issue. I also got a script for compression stockings for my clotting issue on the long flights. I am going to ask the naturopath about Malaria and Typhoid. I had dinner with my Pindian friend (I say Pindian as he was born in Pakistan , married an Indian girl and has converted to all things Indian). He mentioned the vaccinations and I of course refuse to vaccinate. You may think I am crazy but I believe my autoimmune issue and many out there are caused/triggered by vaccinations. After years of suffering with autoimmune issues the last thing I need to do is add more toxins to my body. Ok, enough of my vaccine rant. So other than the questions of staying healthy, we are trying to ensure we have all we need. We have copies x 5 of our passports, Visa's and marriage certificate. We have the docs numbers printed off and copies of our legal doc. I am not sure what else we need to take so I am calling out to my surro friends to let me know what we are missing. Our embies should hit Mumbai today or tomorrow, and we just pray that they arrived safely!!!
Today Chaya's baby should have been delivered by c-sec and I am dying to hear the updates!! A set of Twin boys were born earlier this week in India and seem to be doing well despite been born a few weeks early. When we land in Mumbai we will meet with couples who are there anticipating baby arrival. We are thrilled to be part of this (not a huge part but part). Nik and Lisa, Stephanie and spouse and Carrie Jo and Shawn will all be on pins and needles waiting for babies while we finally get started trying to make a baby. Rhonda and Gerry are not far behind and sadly we will not see them in Mumbai at the same time as us. Daria leaves tomorrow for Mumbai and our trips will not overlap...nothing but positive vibes for Daria!!! Ocho should be in the tww and we pray again for a positive. Johnny and Darrens trip overlap with ours and they will be in the same stage as us..thank goodness we will have someone to swap stories with. The monsoon season should make this trip even more fun. We have two travel size umbrellas just in case. My friend Nilesh will come to see us from Hyderabad which is quite far from Mumbai. I am really looking forward to seeing him and hopefully he will bring his little son and wife.
Please email me of post here what you think is a necessity for the trip especially on the surrogacy side. Have a great day!

Jul 7, 2009

D-dimer

I spent the bulk of yesterday in emergency. Since egg retrieval I have not been feeling great and last week I started getting weird stuff happening. My feet go numb and cold and my hands tingle. A few days after this started I got some pretty intense and weird calf pain. The pain has complimentary issues like stinging and zinging in my legs and unusual sensations. Dr M sent me to emerg to have this checked out as he fear DVT - thrombosis - blood clots. He also said if this is found there will be no flying for me in the near future. So of course I went into a PANIC!! Here we are 3 weeks away from going and it could all come to a hault.
So I got myself settled in at hospital and the doctor ordered a D-dimer test and other tests to screen for clotting. After a few hours the results we in an I show no signs of clotting based on the screening results. As this is some relief to me I still have the leg stuff going on. The doctor at emerg felt it could be a side effect of the drugs or a hormonal thing as my body gets back to normal or a viral infection that is causing this weird stuff. The hospital gave me all the test results and I sent these off to Dr M last night for a second opinion, and one that understands my health history.
So today I am off to work and waiting for Dr M to give me his opinion.
Why is nothing easy! Sheesh! I imagine now flying for 19 hours with these legs!! Hopefully this is a temporary thing and will ease off in the next three weeks. Considering I am an autoimmune poster child I am not optimistic that this will go away quickly.



D-dimer tests are ordered, along with other laboratory tests and imaging scans, to help rule out, diagnose, and monitor diseases and conditions that cause hypercoagulability, a tendency to clot inappropriately. One of the most common of these conditions is DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis), which involves clot formation in the deep veins of the body, most frequently in the legs. These clots may grow very large and block blood flow in the legs, causing swelling, pain, and tissue damage. It is possible for a piece of the clot to break off (this broken piece is called an embolus) and travel to other parts of the body, where the clot can cause a PE (Pulmonary embolus or embolism - blood clot in the lungs).