Aug 18, 2009

This and that

The business of it all is in full swing. We have booked a few days off work to travel again to India. I am on the pill to sync my cycle and I have all my meds on hand, ready and waiting. Yesterday my promotion was announced at work and it was fun to watch some of them scramble..wondering what this means! Love it!! I am off to Germany in September for work and will get to catch up with a friend of the surrogacy world. I am so looking forward to this and my promised hug to her is much over do. Mark will meet me in Germany and we will boot off to Mumbai together (if timing and flights allow it), regardless we will both be in Mumbai by Saturday the 19th. Other than this we have been busy around the house trying to do a few projects that were put on hold due to our excitement and anticipation of our first trip to Mumbai. It seems we are so busy and little time to do much. I think it is the way we deal with heartache - keep busy and do it together. As strong as we come across we really do struggle to keep positive. We have had many years of heartaches and I guess our calluses are just a little thicker now. News out of India is mixed these days. Good news is the ducklings are scheduled for a c-section on Thursday so Nik and Lisa have like 36 hours of this life as they know it before these twins are born. A few announcements of positive pregnancies over the last few weeks have been good news as well. Sadly another baby lost the battle and the IP's have accepted this tragic news knowing that the little one was probably just not healthy enough to carry on. Other sad news in our Jojo getting another negative...so disappointing, and I just do not even know what to say. Rhonda and Gerry are leaving late this week to Mumbai in anticipation of their baby's birth! Been a long road but worth it in the end! On my side I have drug angels as you know. Last week Daria was successful in sending me a Lupron kit from the US. I was on pins and needles waiting for it and seeing "customs delay" on the web tracking added to the stress. The package arrived safe and sound, and don't you worry, the Canadian government got their taxes and duties on it. Lastly I see that Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan was detained at Newark airport for no apparent reason...oh lordy.

Aug 8, 2009

One saying that I hate

"I guess it wasn't meant to be"

If I hear this one more time I will kill, literally kill. Wasn't meant to be cost us a crap load of money. Wasn't meant to be caused a mini emotional break down. Wasn't meant to be shattered us and made us find a new strength somewhere, some how. What happened to us was a one in a million shot! Who can put odds on it then write it off as wasn't meant to be! Who gets to decide this? How do people think it is ok to snuff this off as not meant to be? This saying was said to me yesterday after a long visit with Dr M. Said to me by one of the front desk staff at an infertility clinic! I lost my top for a second but sanity kicked in and I left the office in a good place.
So, I know some of you wonder what is next for us. The quick story is that one couple we know who are expecting in India sent us a note after hearing our tragedy and made us a magnanimous offer worth thousands. This couple had 30k worth of ivf drugs in India and offered them to us to help us get through the next stage with some financial ease. What a gift! Not only have they offered us friendship throughout our journey they have now given us the ability to try again! As well, the wonderful doctors at SI and Dr Pai at Lilavati Hospital all made things so much easier for us to try again. The spirit of all these people and the gifts of friendship cannot be put into words. I am not able to communicate the plenteous heartfelt bonds that we feel with these people. To try again has become easy. To think of trying again feels less daunting knowing that the generosity of people came together to help us. In our worst time we had shoulders to lean on and we are forever grateful. Kudos also go to our RE Dr M here in Toronto who had nothing but sadness for us and what has happened. He was genuine and reached out to figure out what could have gone wrong. We spent some time with one of the lab people and had a discussion about the caps coming off. All said, it was a fluke, an unexplained tragedy, a disaster of huge proportion etc... you get the point. We spoke of our next step and Dr M supports us fully. What a relief! He is an amazingly compassionate doctor who seriously wants us to have a baby! Not many doctors would support what Canadian medicine would consider a half baked plan to fly to India for egg retrieval, yet Dr M is on board! Despite what has happened to us we are not defeated and if all goes well will have our retrieval in India in 6.5 weeks. We are blessed to have Dr M in our lives. So, maybe it IS meant to be.

Aug 2, 2009

Last full day in Mumbai (kind of a ramble)

We are sad that this is our last full day. We have not seen some of the people we wished to connect with...party at the Vits tonight anyone?? Today we plan to venture across the street, now at home this sounds like nothing but here we will need to work our way through 8 lanes of chaotic traffic, people, rickshaws in the hundreds and cars. Its a daunting task and one that we now feel we can take on. We can see the sign across the road of the shop we wish to go to yet it seems so far away.Yesterday we ventured to Andheri West to a department store called Shoppers Stop. It was four floors of clothes, bedding, luggage etc...just like any department store at home. Mark got a great shirt there that says "Mumbai, I love". Also on a mission to find Bidi's for Stan. These little cigarettes have been a challenge to find for us and after an unexpected and pleasant visit from Amit last night, we now know what they are called. Speaking of Amit, we are fortunate to have met him. For any other IP's looking for a place to stay, Amit is your guy!! He is the best of the best and a pleasant person to know. Amit had a cup of Tim's last night and quoted the coffee as "brilliant"! This afternoon we are off to see the doctors and get our meds to take home. We think we have a plan in place for our next visit, but need to discuss with the doctors today. We also have a few gifts for our surrogate and her children that we would like to ensure make their way to her. She was a trooper to take on the task and was very disappointed to hear how things ended. When we saw her at the hospital, she was glowing. She adorned a beautiful white and purple Indian dress and was giggling with the SI care takers. I am sure her nerves were shot after suck a long day and the never ending wait. Even tho things did not work out this time for all of, we are optimistic that next time we will all win. So with the horrible news we have had and the challenges we faced just to get here, we know that India and the people have always and will continue to make this path a little easier. The doctors are saints, the IP's are now life long friends and Amit and Ajit will be ready for us on our next visit. Tonight we will have a few drinks at the hotel ~ Nik will come by and we invite all IP's to stop by the Vits for a visit tonight before we leave. All the best to everyone starting out and expecting babies. We do look forward to getting home yet will miss the reality of the shanty town behind us that is better than any reality TV. This town is amazing and the people are glorious. We have enjoyed their company, even though we have not met them. The children play with kites and the dogs lounge around in the heat and the community they have built is one that we could dream of back home. Ajit and I have practiced some Hindi and I get some laughs when I say the worst word in the Hindi language ~ its amazing that even the most offensive word from a westerners mouth can make an Indian man giggle. We are now off for breakfast at 8 am and at home it is 10:30 pm. I hope the time change going home is not to rough.