May 13, 2010

What is next?

We have taken some time to re-think the process. It's not easy getting negatives, especially when it feels like everyone else is getting positives. We are feeling slightly exhausted of the process and feel that our dreams may be too far fetched. But, we are not beaten yet. We have a surrogate who has just started bc pills for our June transfer. We have 4 embryos left and really hope one of them is golden!! If this does not work, we will have to re-think again and see what we can do. The free drugs we received last year in Mumbai are starting to get short dated so it looks like we will do a cycle depending on the outcome of the June transfer. Sadly, this is almost 1 year since our first travels to Mumbai when we though we had super embryos - reality sure got beaten in to us ...quickly! Those of you have cycled know that the cycle comes with some dread. Its not the needles, not really the drugs, more that all your hopes and dreams rely on the numbers and so called grades of your final production. This weighs heavily on us. Every egg retreival holds the next few days hostage wondering and waiting for the final feilization report.
For now all we can do is think positive and say prayers for our surrogate "D".
And where the heck is spell check on this posting page????

May 10, 2010

No wine...

Well, out ritual has been broken.... Last week we got a call from Marks dad that his mom had fallen and needed surgery. She had stepped down from a step stool or ladder and bang...shattered her ankle. Next day was surgery and she was released on Saturday. By the time we got her a walker and settled at home we were knackered. We came home and just had no energy for our wine.
This weekend also brought a reunion with an old (not in age) friend. We found each other on facebook of all places and have chatted more than once on the phone. It is like the years apart never happened and we felt all caught up instantly! She is a wonderful woman, an amazing soul and a mother beyond beleif. She happens to have a special needs son and her experiences actually allow her to understand the surrogacy hardships. It is rare to come across someone who "gets" it.
As I type this post, I see the spell check button is missing...oh dear.

May 5, 2010

Been a while

Well, its has been a while since we have posted. We moved a few months ago and are spending loads of time in our gardens and working on redecorating the inside of the house. We are looking for the perfect light fixture for our front entrance - it must be grand and unsual (not off the shelf at Home Depot). The entrance is semi large and requires a wow factor! And of course, the dreaded Mothers Day is this weekend. Enough said.
We are not pregnant, we need to do another IVF cycle here and we need to see if we have MRSA. Yes, thats right, Methicillin Resistan Staph Aureus. Evil dog has this lovely skin infection which can move to humans. I have signs of it and so does Mark. I am waiting on test results any day now. I guess we should not create MRSA positive embryos huh? My work being an International company, has a program where they encourage the whole company to exercise in the month of May. You make teams, log workout minutes and hopefully feel better. I think they should do this every month - may help with the enormous stress and stupidity!!
On the surrogacy front, blogland has been quiet. This week has picked up with some sad sad news from one couple and an exciting video from another. In what other part of your life are the emotions this raw at the click of a button? None! This is why I don't stress the little things like traffic or slow service at a restaurant. Surrogacy has made me be a wine drinker. Yes, wine, red and bottles of it. We say we have finally "grown up" but this is a cover for the need to numb the emotions for a short period of time. I recommend it. Not everyday. We have made this our Saturday ritual. Work in the garden, dream of better days, turn on the bbq, open the wine and enjoy! I guess we are just embracing the little things in life, and most importantly each other. You all know how tight the budget gets with surrogacy, so $17.00 on a bottle is about all we can splurge on.
Enjoy the day, buy a nice bottle and join us Saturday night!