Sep 1, 2010

What to do next...

Well, we are at a bit of a loss to know what to do next.  Fortunately, Dr Shivani gave us some stern medical advice and commentary on our situation.  She was able to explain the possible reasons we continue to get negatives which is hard to hear but finally we have some ideas/answers.   This week has been quite difficult, I guess mainly because we finally have some answers.  The future probably doesn't look great for us but only time will tell.  We have lost some of our optimism that we will succeed with a biological child.   For now, I need to get a test done as per Dr Shivani and see what these results tell us.  Hopefully there will be one more shot at a fresh transfer pending these results and if not, we will need to step back a while and regroup and consider donor options.
As always, thank you so much for all your kind words.  It is wonderful that you can all help us with text, and most of you have been thru this and continue to give us strength.  For those of your like Rebecca and Fiona my non-surrogacy gals...what can I say girls...I love you to death for your support.
I would love to hear from any one who has tried a fresh after frozen transfer with SCI (and had success), so please email me.  Our email address is on the sidebar.


  1. big hugs, kerrie. i hope you find the answers you're looking for.

    but please know, if worst comes to worst and you have to give up your biological dream, don't worry. miracles come in all shapes and sizes and you'll find your perfect little angel soon enough.


  2. More big hugs Kerrie. I can only imagine how hard the last week has been, but if nothing else you still have options - which is amazing itself. And would you love your four legged family members any more if you'd given birth to them? I know we wouldn't.

  3. Tiger - I love that analogy about our animals. So true!!!
    Kerrie & Mark - as a same sex couple, we always knew that we were one ingredient short of a baby. Options presented by surrogacy is only good news for us. Your path has many more bumps. I wish it were easier for you. I can feel the pain in your words and wish it weren't so. We are, as ever, thinking good thoughts for you both.
    Best wishes as you contemplate next steps.

  4. Hi Kerrie,
    I can't imagine how hard it is for you to fail yet again. I really don't know where you find all the energy to get out of bed and be supportive for everyone else.
    I don't know if I understand how you feel. July 2009 I learned I can't have my "own" kids. We were trying for years and our FIRST go with surrogacy and donor egg brought success.

    I understand that making the decision to use donor egg is heard but I can tell you also that it doesn't make those babies any less yours. We are expecting two little miracles that are not going to be genetically linked to me but I don't think I could love them any more if they were. It is something that is not on your mind.

    I wish you all the best with whatever decision you will make. Hope you will find the answer.

  5. The road is long and hard but the prize at the end is every step worth it. Hope you continue. Most people I know (in fact ALL the people I know) who have gone the donor route, mostly female and some male, all say the same thing: they wish they had done it sooner and not lost all that precious time with their babies.
    PS - from a philosophical standpoint maybe it's just me but now that I reflect on this when I was growing up, the last thing on my mind was whether or not my parents were genetically related to me. In fact, they were but it didn't (doesn't) really matter. Would it have made a difference to me their child if one of them was not genetically my parent, no. All that matters is love. Genetics really are very over-rated...

  6. Kerrie Sweetie I am sending out huge HUGS ;) I know how you feel as I have had a long journey with IVF and trying to use my own eggs. It looks like I will most likely end up needing an Egg Donor and everything said here is so true the genetic link is not important nurturing those babies that belong to you is ;)

  7. Continue to review your options, it what u should do next. Having a family is what you want i know it...dust yourself off and try again, seems we keep dusting huh?

    Heartbreaking i know, we are here for u hun!

  8. Your last post came up on my Google reader but I don't see it on your site. I assume you may have taken it down but it struck a cord with me. I appreciated what you wrote and that you spoke of what you were doing (and that you were enjoying some wine). It sounded as if the wine temporarily mellowed your life and added a measure of pleasure to the shared act of installing an OTC microwave (simple pleasures indeed). You are in my thoughts! As a matter of fact, I'm going to my kitchen right now and see if I can find that bottle of Trader Joe's organic wine I bought. I will toast both of you on your resilience!


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