Nov 22, 2010

Continued countdown

20 days of down reg. injections down, baseline ultrasound and FSH  this Saturday (Nov 27th) and 12 days til I leave for India!   This countdown feels strangely different than in the past, not sure why but it does.  I think the difference is that this is the first time I am cycling and heading to India.  Our past visits to India have been to sign contracts and meet doctors and do some tourist stuff.  This visit comes with a minor surgical procedure, so I guess as exciting as the opportunity is, it is also a little scary at the same time.   I will be welcomed into the "Fat and Fourty" surrogate mommas club at the end of our trip.  This secret club allows me to acknowledge and justify my weight gains.  In the last year I have really packed on some weight from all these IVF cycles, and the never ending negative pregnancy tests were not motivational in dropping the weight.  I have accepted my body for now, but post India will be addressing it and looking forward to getting back into some of the nice clothes tucked away in the closet from a year ago (that fit nicely).  This is my last cycle, ever.  I cannot continue to do this to my body.  As a twenty year old I would never have predicted that I would have back fat, and now, at my age and the curve balls life has thrown me, I have to embrace my back fat and know it is a sign of how hard I have worked at trying to have a family.

4 comments:

  1. Will I set up a Fat and Forty New Mothers' Forum, and we can complain about baby weight and swap diet recipes?

    It is different this time round - very different. Baby dust and diet pills to you. x

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  2. Kerrie, I just admire your tenacity and I know this will work. Can't wait to hear from you in India.

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  3. Back fat is under rated ! My husband always says he likes a bit of pork on his fork !!! ha ha or more cushin for the pushin. I understand how you feel - the IVF drugs also make me fatten up and the nausea and vomiting I have for 3 months after the drugs is often only made to go away by either salt and vinegar chips or a sliced apple !!! One of my friends says you are not pregnant until you start craving salt and vinegar chips !!! I had no idea that IVF drugs could do the same but it makes sense. Hang in there. I am thinking of you and know you are in good hands with Dr S.
    Best Wishes
    Gemway

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  4. You've always been, and will always be, beautiful to me.

    <3

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