Mar 29, 2011

Eighteen weeks

We have entered week 18!  It is starting to feel very real now.  We are cautiously aware that anything can happen, but optimistic nothing will.  The scans and reports have been perfect, solid details and no warning signs of even a hint of anything to worry about.  We are very grateful, everyday.
When I was in Europe a few weeks ago I came home with a suitcase full of baby clothes..yes, baby clothes.  These were a gift to me from a fellow surro mama who recently had twins.  I was sure it would be too hard to have these things in my possession, but the reality is the opposite.  On Sunday I unpacked the clothes and also the bottles that I brought home.  I admired each tiny piece, from the little onsies to the Tommy Hilfiger jean overalls.  I did not break down, it did not spin me into sadness.  Somehow I found joy in these little articles of clothing.  Is it possible I am almost over the emotional hump of 15 years of losses?  Highly unlikely, but...I am dealing, and that tiny 5" baby of ours growing in India gives me hope.  I think seeing the twins and the reality of how real this is also helped.  I also think that because these articles came from someone who suffered greatly trying to have a family that I can somehow accept them.  They must have positive energy all over them since they came from two little miracles!
So, I plan to out myself at work at the beginning of 21 weeks.  Some people already know, but it is not common knowledge.  I work for a small (tiny) affiliate of a large International company.   There are only 12 of us in the office and I have entrusted just a few with our news so far.
We are kinda half way there, especially knowing that alot of our babies come early.  It sucks waiting for updates...but somehow the weeks go by quickly and right on time Neha sends everything through to us.  Dr Shivani has told us to be ready August 16th which is just 4.5 months away from today!

Mar 22, 2011

Alan update Mar 22

Our scans and reports came through today!  Dr Shivani says baby and surrogate are both looking great!  Dr Jolly states our heartbeat at 154bpm.  Baby is 139 grams and measuring right on track in gestational age.

Our stomach bubble also looks good (whatever that means)

Shopping for meds on TNF

Our weekly update is live on .  This week is all about last November and my savvy shopping for Gonal-F.  We are also awaiting our 17 weeks scan pics, should be coming anytime now, and as you can imagine, we don't breathe a sigh of relief until they come.

Mar 17, 2011

Sentimental, emotional

As many of you know we had great difficulty getting a doctor to support us here in Canada.  We were very lucky that TCART was open minded and open hearted enough to help us.  With the support of Dr Casper at TCART and our nurse Tracey all became much easier for us.    Dr Casper is a very well recognized and accomplished physician and we are blessed to work with him.  I feel quite sentimental today as I think it is the first day I am really accepting our pregnancy.  I am so thankful for all the support we have received ( I say "I" but it really is "we", Mark is equally grateful).   We travelled a very long and turbulent journey to get to today.  Last week we received an email from nurse Tracey with kind words and congratulations which really solidified that we are not a number at TCART, they truely care for their patients success.  We are also very grateful for SCI and Dr Shivani.  The SCI team has made the process very easy for us, and for this we feel very fortunate.
As we wait and wait for the days to tick by many thoughts swirl in our brains.  Every day our baby grows is a blessing.  Spring is in the air here, the snow is gone and we will reach double digit temps today - what else could we ask for?!
Below is a link to see our Dr Casper.  Any GTA'ers looking for fertility help should definitely contact TCART.

Mar 14, 2011

Letting go?

TNF asked all the writers for their individual take on letting go, I thought about it and realized I have not let go of the past.  I have started to embrace the future and that's ok.

Pregnancy waiting sucks

Next Tuesday we will have our triple marker test and standard ultrasound.   Today we entered our 16th week...holy cripes!! As quickly as these weeks have gone by, we are also just waiting for this to be over.  I guess every one feels the same, we just cannot wait until we are headed back to India to meet our little one.   For now, we will wait for our update next week.  After this we look forward to our 3D scan with all the creepiness that comes with that...honestly, the 3D scan pics are a bit creepy, cannot deny that! 

Mar 9, 2011

Guten Morgan

Great news - our SM is out of hospital and feeling well!  Alan is ok and we are more than pleased that SCI took very good care of both our SM and Alan!!  It is awful to hear that your SM is in hospital, but also very reassuring that SCI takes no chances with our surro's health and pregnancy. 
We can breathe a sigh of releif until next time!

Mar 8, 2011

What a week...

What a week and it is only Tuesday!  I flew to Germany overnight Sunday, landing Monday at lunch time.  Once I got myself checked into the hotel I logged on to personal email to see that our SM is in hospital.  As minor as a bad chest infection is,  it does cause worry when so far away.  Dr Shivani's team has assured us our SM is doing well and not to worry. 

Our blog update went live yesterday.  This week details making arrangements to travel to Delhi for IVF with Dr Shivani.  Here is the link:

Here I am in Weisbaden Germany and if only my Arabic or German were good I could watch some tv!  Only English programming is CNN and BBC.  These are great channels, but not ideal to unwind with after a long day at the office.  Hearing about the Libyian chaos is not a good way to mellow out. 

Lots of births in India over the past week or so - all very exciting!! Congrats to you all!!

Funny - I tried to do a spell check on this blog post but Blogger automatically did spell check in German and apparently every word is spelled incorrectly! 

Mar 2, 2011

Numb tongue

I put up a blog poll on when to tell my employer about my upcoming LEAVE...yes, we are actually absorbing that this will happen (God, this is hard). 
The last few weeks at work have been UBER stressful for me and a bizarre physical side effect has taken over me.  I seem to be carrying all my work stress in my neck...front and back and since last week, my tongue is numb, and my lips go numb.   It is not a good feeling, and secondly, to know that my work could cause this is just B.S!  My ND gave me some natural supplements that would be similar to the prescription Lorazepan.  I took two last night and they seemed to take the edge off, had me in a bit of a lala land.  I am seeing an osteopath and a massage therapist and nothing is working.  To pile on more work related stress I have to go to Germany next week.  The best part about this trip will be visiting with a couple in Germany that I have met through our surrogacy community.  Somehow I need to figure this work crap out - Mark wants me to announce our pregnancy so I can start to disconnect emotionally...any thoughts?

Mar 1, 2011

TheNextFamily blog update Mar 01, 2011

Switching clinics is not easy.  We made this decision last year with a heavy heart.  We had 3 negatives and were feeling pretty emotionally defeated and decided to have another go at a new clinic...we were desperate for success.  Many of you have done this and know it is not easy.  Our nextfamily blog this week details our last cycle in Canada and the decision to switch.   Not at all a pleasant time in our lives.

On our baby front all is quiet, which is good. We are in our second trimester now.  Lots of births over the last few days have lit up the surrogacy community!