Mar 29, 2011

Eighteen weeks

We have entered week 18!  It is starting to feel very real now.  We are cautiously aware that anything can happen, but optimistic nothing will.  The scans and reports have been perfect, solid details and no warning signs of even a hint of anything to worry about.  We are very grateful, everyday.
When I was in Europe a few weeks ago I came home with a suitcase full of baby clothes..yes, baby clothes.  These were a gift to me from a fellow surro mama who recently had twins.  I was sure it would be too hard to have these things in my possession, but the reality is the opposite.  On Sunday I unpacked the clothes and also the bottles that I brought home.  I admired each tiny piece, from the little onsies to the Tommy Hilfiger jean overalls.  I did not break down, it did not spin me into sadness.  Somehow I found joy in these little articles of clothing.  Is it possible I am almost over the emotional hump of 15 years of losses?  Highly unlikely, but...I am dealing, and that tiny 5" baby of ours growing in India gives me hope.  I think seeing the twins and the reality of how real this is also helped.  I also think that because these articles came from someone who suffered greatly trying to have a family that I can somehow accept them.  They must have positive energy all over them since they came from two little miracles!
So, I plan to out myself at work at the beginning of 21 weeks.  Some people already know, but it is not common knowledge.  I work for a small (tiny) affiliate of a large International company.   There are only 12 of us in the office and I have entrusted just a few with our news so far.
We are kinda half way there, especially knowing that alot of our babies come early.  It sucks waiting for updates...but somehow the weeks go by quickly and right on time Neha sends everything through to us.  Dr Shivani has told us to be ready August 16th which is just 4.5 months away from today!

10 comments:

  1. You know, I have read every post in this entire blog. I have even re-read some just from pure disbelief. I cant think of any couple more deserving right now than you and Mark,. Mind you I wish there was a magic wand so every everyone could skip the 2WW and heartbreaks. I’m just so happy to be reading great news on your blog.

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  2. Wonderful update! 18 weeks is fabulous. So glad to hear the emotional wall (built over 15 years) is slowly coming down.

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  3. Kerrie,
    I would never wish what you and Mark have gone through on anybody, but you have no idea how you have used it all to help others. You are one of my true heroes, and I am so happy you are half way through your pregnancy. Hope the rest of the weeks fly by uneventfully. Love, GeGe

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  4. 18 weeks, fantastic!!! And so, so happy that little items of clothing are starting to take over your house. This IS happening and everyone around the world is so excited for you and Mark.

    L
    xx

    ps - Alex and Tajy are requesting that Alan be born on August 20 so they can all share a birthday

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  5. Sounds all good to me. So excited.

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  6. What a happy post! I'm so excited for you both!

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  7. 18 weeks goes in a flash...and another 18 weeks from now you'll be on the edge of dreams! (albeit sleepless dreams!)

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  8. Wow Kerrie. I can't believe you are at 18 already. It's been a long time coming and I just want to add our names to the chorus of folks you've helped by blogging your journey. Good things come to good people.
    K

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  9. It makes my day every time I see a new post from you! I'm so happy everything is going so well. If your experience is anything like ours, time is going to start going by in hyperspeed soon so enjoy AND prepare!

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  10. And can we add our names to the list of people around the world so positive and excited for you both!!!

    The hardest thing we found about blogging was how the reservation that anything could happen made us find it really difficult to show our hope and optimism given our past disappointments and to constantly hold back our feelings of excitement. We held back on buying baby clothes, baby things and telling friends and loved ones in a constant state of worry. But now we only have 3 and a bit months to go and time is passing at hyper-speed times ten!!!!!!! So we're embracing our excitement far more than our worries and we hope that you can too!!!

    Adam & Michael

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Say it loud and say it proud, we are listening (reading)