Mar 2, 2011

Numb tongue

I put up a blog poll on when to tell my employer about my upcoming LEAVE...yes, we are actually absorbing that this will happen (God, this is hard). 
The last few weeks at work have been UBER stressful for me and a bizarre physical side effect has taken over me.  I seem to be carrying all my work stress in my neck...front and back and since last week, my tongue is numb, and my lips go numb.   It is not a good feeling, and secondly, to know that my work could cause this is just B.S!  My ND gave me some natural supplements that would be similar to the prescription Lorazepan.  I took two last night and they seemed to take the edge off, had me in a bit of a lala land.  I am seeing an osteopath and a massage therapist and nothing is working.  To pile on more work related stress I have to go to Germany next week.  The best part about this trip will be visiting with a couple in Germany that I have met through our surrogacy community.  Somehow I need to figure this work crap out - Mark wants me to announce our pregnancy so I can start to disconnect emotionally...any thoughts?


  1. It is of course a very personal decision that may or may not be complicated by your specific situation with your employer, colleagues, and peers.

    We chose not to share any news until we were in the 3rd trimester for a variety of reasons. As a matter of fact, I didn't tell my staff until I was already a father when I knew exactly when I was traveling.

    This process can be hugely emotional and certainly very personal. I've always taken the approach of sharing what needs to be shared on an 'as-needed' basis, especially around the office.

    Ultimately it depends on how nosy your work friends are about your personal life and what you are comfortable sharing with them. If you expect support and don't get what you need/expect, how would you feel? A job is a job but your life is your life!

    GOOD LUCK!!!

  2. Are you going to continue to work after the baby is born? If that is the case I would announce the pregnancy whenever you feel the time is right. If not going back announce two weeks before impending trip to India. What do you do? Is it a big conglomerate or a small business?

  3. Thanks Madge and Edward. In Canada we get one year off for mat leave, so I will be taking that. I work for a very large international health care company, who just happens to have an infant formula division. I need to tell them in advance so they can line up a contract replacement for my position, but at the same time, I have huge fear of telling them incase, god forbid, things go bad with the pregnancy.

  4. Can you tell your immediate boss and not the HR area at this point? That's what I did and it made it a lot easier, especially when it came time to debate giving me baby leave as surrogacy isn't covered in our workplace arrangement at all. Having team members knowing what was happening and supporting was also a blessing, but I can understand your hesitancy still.

  5. Sorry to hear you are feeling so stressed & under pressure.Hope you find a way to chill out and relax even for a little bit! I usually try to catch up with my girlfriends for a night out dancing,or maybe a massage now and again. Its so important.
    Ive just said to my workfriends & boss that yes, we are trying for a baby and will just have to wait & see how it goes.. no mention of how we plan to make it happen! So, they are preparred that sometime in the future (hopefully) I will be taking extended time off work. Not sure when I will actually tell them the full story...My workfriends would be great, but I work along side a lot of older, conservative & opinionated (condescending) types, I have no interest in sharing my private business with them. Unfortunately gossip spreads like wildfire! Good luck, Im sure you will work out the best time to share your news :) SJ & B xx

  6. Kerrie,
    I know I didn't go through all of the negatives and disappointments that you have, so my experience might not be relevant, but I told my co-workers shortly after receiving our positive news (I work remotely and happened to be in the office that week, and I really wanted to experience the fun of getting congratulations and hugs in person.) My co-workers are extremly supportive, and I really wanted to get the full experience of going through a "pregnancy" with them. I think the thing to consider is, would your workplace stress increase or decrease when you tell them, and will the level of support you receive from co-workers increase or decrease? Only you can answer this!

  7. Wow a year off. With pay? Here you get disability for 6 weeks and then whatever your employer allows but it usually is your sick/vacation time that has accumulated. Give us updates on A and the surrogate.


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