Dec 21, 2011

Four months already!

My goodness the time is flying!! It is hard to believe that one year ago we were home biting our nails waiting for the results from SCI and now, we have a four month old daughter!  Just shows, dreams are possible and persistence pays off!!
Cailyn continues to be a happy happy girl, smiling all day and at anyone who even looks at her.  She went with me for my blood ozone treatment last week and sat on my lap for the whole procedure.  She grabbed the IV line that was full of my ozonated blood a few times but other than that she just enjoyed the visit with the doctor.  We also had a visit from Ursula, a visit from Stephanie and went out to a daytime party.  At the party, Cailyn found all the kids fascinating but was particularly taken with baby Kai.  She smiled and kicked alot when he entered the room - it was really cute to watch!
Cailyn continues to sleep through the night with no issue!  She is really good at tummy time and can roll over from tummy to back.  When she rolls over the landing is quite the site.  She slams her heals into the floor and spreads her arms out to the side, all the while smiling pleased with her accomplishment!

A visit from Ursula

Sleepy baby after playing with Ursula

My birthday flowers

Holy hannah. what a big coat!

Cailyn was very interested in baby Kai!
Notice Cailyns' red bangles bought in India...everyone was covered in glitter after holding her!

Tummy time - I like to move it..I like to move it...
Christmas will be quite enjoyable this year (finally), now that we have our very own Christmas angel. For those of you out there that are struggling to get pregnant or have suffered recent losses I want you to know that we all hope and pray for your success. The holidays are a horrible time for most people travelling the infertile road. I do know the pain and how exhausting it can be to try and put on a happy face during these times. Stay as strong as you can or want to, and do not feel obligated to always be the happy aunt/uncle, and if it gets to be too much - do what you need to do - go home, drink wine, cry, whatever it is, it is ok. One day you will hold your own baby, sadly, just not today. I often remember our first Christmas after burying our first born seemed that Mark and I were the only ones who remembered that this happened. We had no joy, we had no interest in the festivities, yet, sadly, everyone around us did. We wanted to crawl home and feel crushed and just stay that way, and, we just wanted to tell EVERYONE to F-OFF! The thought of going to the grave site was overwhelming, yet the feeling of guilt for not wanting to go, especially at Christmas was equally as troubling. The emotional turmoil of a loss goes way deeper than what we see on the surface.   

Try to find some peace this holiday season, and if not peace, find hope.  We found hope in India and that was all that kept us going.

Dec 16, 2011

One year ago....

One year ago (Dec. 16/2010) we had 6 little embryos transferred in India, the same day baby Isla was born.  Happy first birthday Isla!!!!   Last year on this day we were very busy packing to fly home after our IVF in New Delhi.  We were anxious to hear about our transfers  (2 surrogates) but were quite occupied with sorting out going home.   It was also on that day that I turned 40 and got to be 40 for 10.5 hours longer due to the time change in India!
Oh how a year can change life!! I will always remember turning 40 as such an optimistic time in my life! update is live today.  This week I detail Cailyn's second day at the hospital and finally getting to hold her and bring her home!

Dec 13, 2011

Having multiples!

No no, not us, just wanted to give a big shout out to all our friends who have had multiples!  Mark and I often make mention of how hard it must be to have multiples, hard, yet joy filled.  Tonight as I write this, I am exhausted.  We have a little girl who feels no need to sleep from 9 am to 10:30 pm and I can only imagine the fatigue that would come with two, or three , or my goodness four!  We love every minute of it as do you I am sure.  Besides the busy-ness, there are the constant wardrobe changes due to Niagara Falls style spit up.  Bibs...what a waste of time!   So, my friends, parents of multiples,  I have huge respect for you!  I am not sure how you stay standing, but god love ya for being such wonderful parents!!!

Onto the princess diaries....

Cailyn's 16th week started as previously posted with vaccinations.  The aftermath of diarrhea, increased spit up and general fussiness ended about 72 hours after the shots.  Cailyn attended a birthday party for a 2 year old and was much enjoyed by the parents and the birthday boy, who just happens to be the sweetest most gentle little guy (xoxo Nathaneal).  Week 16 also found mommy and grandparents all sick.  Mommy recovered quickly and we continued on about our daily routine of getting me into shape.  Mark came home from work early most days in week 16 so Cailyn really got to enjoy time with her daddy.  The daily dance party continues, have video to upload of her "rockin out" - planning to do this over the next few days.  Cailyn is teething like a bastard and the drool only adds to the ongoing wardrobe changes.  She likes "Sophie" but Sophie is a bit big still for her to gnaw on.

Sophie is too big for my mouth!

Chillaxin in the king size bed

Reading in the king size bed

All bundled to go out! (And yes, thats a sun hat on her head...if it fits, wear it!)

Childrens Christmas party

What an angel when she DOES sleep! The sleeping bag is from India (Mom&Me)...thanks Nilesh!! I wish we had a few more of them as they are the best we have used so far!

Tummy time in jailbird stripes!

Tummy time is FUN!

Laughing during tummy time

Rolled over to the reward of pastic keys on a ring.

Dec 5, 2011

Week 15

So, we vaccinated.  It is with a very mixed heart that I say this.  Since my life tends to take a naturopathic approach, I/we have agonized over vaccinating.  This was an extremely difficult decision for us.  I know most parents vaccinate because that's what "we" do and the doctor's appointment progress in such a way that it just becomes part of the routine.  I on the other hand question everything especially concerning pharmaceuticals. We are fortunate to have a doctor who supported us either way, but when I walked into her office to say we were vaccinating, she was very pleased.  She mentioned a recent study that linked vaccinating to lowered incidence of SIDS.  I told her this was not a selling point for me nor are any of the other studies, and fortunately, she understands me and continued on to make sure I was super comfortable and "ok" at that moment (which I wasn't). 
The first part of the visit was a general check up.  Despite spitting up what seems 4 of the 5oz Cailyn eats, she has packed on some weight and grew a few cm's in length.  She remains in the 50th percentile which is great, tracking at average on all measures.   After the check up the two dreaded needles came out.  Dr P was super quick, one in one leg, the second in the other leg.  Cailyn had a delayed reaction and shortly after the second one started to cry.  It broke my heart.  I felt uber guilty that I had done this too her.  Fortunately she is such a great little girl that she recovered quickly and was ready to get the heck out of there! Once home for the rest of the day, Cailyn did well.  Late in the afternoon she showed signs of being a bit fussy and had a little cry to let me know.  She then had a nice sleep, then a little cry then another little sleep - these things are all outside of her norm.  She doesn't cry and she rarely naps so I knew the pattern was her dealing with the medical toxins and discomfort at point of entry.  Poor little sausage.
Cailyn continues to say "HI!" and feels the need to interrupt adult conversation with her boisterous and adorable Hi!  She can hold rattles, toys etc with ease and sits up with support - not long now until she can sit up on her own. We have not started her on solids and do not plan to until she is minimum six months.  The timing of feeding solids is another parent controversy with different schools of thoughts.  Cailyn continues to sleep through the night YAY! Every day is full of fun with our little girl! 

Al dressed to head out!

An adorable ensemble from Rinku!! Notice the gorgeous faux fur vest - what a riot!! By Cailyn's expression you can see she is not loving being all dressed up.

The preferred choice of clothing by Cailyn, happier.

Post strip down, having fun with daddy!

Birth weight  6.37 lbs
Weight at 5 weeks  8.08 lbs
Weight at 8 weeks  10.11 lbs 
Weight at 15 weeks  14.02 lbs 
Length at Birth  49.5 cm 
Length at 5 weeks  53.34 cm
Length at 8 weeks  56.00 cm
Length at 15 weeks  62 cm