Dec 21, 2011

Four months already!

My goodness the time is flying!! It is hard to believe that one year ago we were home biting our nails waiting for the results from SCI and now, we have a four month old daughter!  Just shows, dreams are possible and persistence pays off!!
Cailyn continues to be a happy happy girl, smiling all day and at anyone who even looks at her.  She went with me for my blood ozone treatment last week and sat on my lap for the whole procedure.  She grabbed the IV line that was full of my ozonated blood a few times but other than that she just enjoyed the visit with the doctor.  We also had a visit from Ursula, a visit from Stephanie and went out to a daytime party.  At the party, Cailyn found all the kids fascinating but was particularly taken with baby Kai.  She smiled and kicked alot when he entered the room - it was really cute to watch!
Cailyn continues to sleep through the night with no issue!  She is really good at tummy time and can roll over from tummy to back.  When she rolls over the landing is quite the site.  She slams her heals into the floor and spreads her arms out to the side, all the while smiling pleased with her accomplishment!


A visit from Ursula

Sleepy baby after playing with Ursula

My birthday flowers

Holy hannah. what a big coat!

Cailyn was very interested in baby Kai!
Notice Cailyns' red bangles bought in India...everyone was covered in glitter after holding her!

Tummy time - I like to move it..I like to move it...
What???
Christmas will be quite enjoyable this year (finally), now that we have our very own Christmas angel. For those of you out there that are struggling to get pregnant or have suffered recent losses I want you to know that we all hope and pray for your success. The holidays are a horrible time for most people travelling the infertile road. I do know the pain and how exhausting it can be to try and put on a happy face during these times. Stay as strong as you can or want to, and do not feel obligated to always be the happy aunt/uncle, and if it gets to be too much - do what you need to do - go home, drink wine, cry, whatever it is, it is ok. One day you will hold your own baby, sadly, just not today. I often remember our first Christmas after burying our first born child...it seemed that Mark and I were the only ones who remembered that this happened. We had no joy, we had no interest in the festivities, yet, sadly, everyone around us did. We wanted to crawl home and feel crushed and just stay that way, and, we just wanted to tell EVERYONE to F-OFF! The thought of going to the grave site was overwhelming, yet the feeling of guilt for not wanting to go, especially at Christmas was equally as troubling. The emotional turmoil of a loss goes way deeper than what we see on the surface.   

Try to find some peace this holiday season, and if not peace, find hope.  We found hope in India and that was all that kept us going.

13 comments:

  1. Have a very Merry Blessed Christmas Kerrie, Mark & Cailyn!

    Orion's Grannie

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  2. Very beautifully said. SO glad your dream came true and what a beauty. Love the coat photo. She is so delicious.

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  3. Thanks Kerrie! Lovely post and pics!

    Merry Christmas Kerrie/Mark/Cailyn :)

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  4. I think your post will bring some peace to others. Wishing you, Mark and Cailyn the best Christmas ever.

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  5. Merry Christmas my friend. Your post was so compassionate as always. All my best to Mark as well, and please give gorgeous Cailyn a hug and kiss from me,

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  6. Merry Christmas Kerrie and Mark you deserve all the happiness in the world and Cailyn is so cute! Lovely post, thanks for all your support!!

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  7. Merry Christmas to a gorgeous family! Beautiful post. Wishing you a wonderful 2012 xxx

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  8. Please know that I have never forgotten Owen - not that first year nor now. He is in my prayers and I always tell people that I'm the aunt of a niece and a nephew who is sadly no longer with us. Like you so beautifully said, the emotional turmoil of a loss goes way deeper than what we see on the surface. <3

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  9. Merry Christmas Mark,Kerrie and Cailyn!!Wishing you the best first christmas ever!!Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience as you are an inspiration to many of us.
    kathy

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  10. beautifully put Kerrie, all the best to and yours!!

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  11. Merry Christmas! My soul both sighs and yearns for the same happiness in our lives next year. Best wishes!

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  12. Merry xmas guys!! I truly hope your first xmas day with Cailyn was everything you've been waiting - and working - for. I'm sure there was tonnes of pretty paper that she oh so enjoyed.

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  13. Absolutely adorable! Hope you are all doing well!!

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